Count Your Blessings... Name Them One by One

I'm usually winding down at this hour... Turning off the lights and turning off my thoughts for the day, letting my head hit the pillow.

Tonight is different. Tonight I sit here wide awake, wondering, praying, thinking, questioning. 

Tonight is different for so many of us... Wondering what tomorrow might hold, what next week could bring, what next month could mean.

It has been a while since I have written my thoughts down, since I allowed myself the time to let my thoughts flow freely. Honestly, it's been a while since I have reminded myself of my love for words, my love for putting pencil to paper and letting my thoughts flow freely. Tonight is different. 

I sit here listening to the white noise of the sound machines in my daughters' rooms as they sleep peacefully. I just got off the phone with someone who faced a tragedy today and found myself on my knees on my living room floor, praying for them, praying for this world, praying for clarity of what God might be calling me to do or share or be during this unexpected time that many are facing. I felt an urge to go pick up my sweet baby from her crib and rock her for a bit, singing to her and praying. And oh how present I found my God to be here tonight. While I almost went on to bed, keeping the many thoughts in my mind to myself, I felt Him urging me to sit down and to share...

I join the large group of quarantined mothers and teachers who have found themselves at home this week, slowing down for the first time in a long time. I also join the large group of mothers who have been tempted to keep picking up their phones to see what the newest posts on social media might be. It struck me today as I picked up my phone for the fifth time (or maybe tenth time to be honest) that the famous competitiveness of mothers is finding another avenue to show itself... This time in who can be the all-star quarantine entertainer, educator, and creator. I scrolled through post after post of moms "sharing ideas" of what they did with their children today (or maybe just trying to show off to keep themselves from appearing as if they aren't doing a good enough job for their children). 

As I almost posted my own beautiful picture of my daughter making her own cardboard guitar, I quickly saw the picture below it of this same daughter tackling her baby sister on the floor. I then proceeded to almost go pull out all my board games, instructional workbooks, and Spanish flashcards to use for instructing this three-year-old daughter--because that's what everyone's doing, right?! I felt this panic inside that in my one week off (which was scheduled to be spring break, I might add) I hadn't yet found some way to become a millionaire from home, help enough people, or clean my entire house from top to bottom. I couldn't even make my heart stop racing!

You may know the song "Breathe" by Johnny Diaz (a great Christian musician). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnjeMwxFuBA  This is me, guys... Always "off to the races". I spend so many of my days going 90 miles an hour, feeling like I might fall behind, "trying to push a little harder." 

Tonight, as I held my sweet baby girl, pondering all the chaos, all the questions, all the insecurity, all the self-doubt, I heard God's ever-quiet voice: "Breathe." Suddenly, I felt this peace. Maybe, just maybe, God doesn't want me to use these days with no schedule and no work and no obligations to try to fill it with my own version of productivity.  Maybe, just maybe, God wants me to rest at His feet, to delight in what He has given me, to treasure my time with my girls, to love my family well.

Tonight, I challenge you. I challenge you to physically get down on your knees and lift your eyes to our mighty God. What amazing freedom we can find there. What amazing freedom to have so many questions, fears, and uncertainties and yet to be able to know that our God is above it all. That He is with us. That He cares for us. That He DESIRES us. He desires our attention, our adoration. 

Tonight, it is out of this knowing that I write these words. I want to dance in and celebrate the blessings that He gives me, today and every day. Oh what a tremendous joy and blessing to get to spend any day with my girls. It's not about how much I can cram into one day.

Tonight, I count my blessings. So many days I hear the sound running through my head of my family singing "Count Your Blessings" at Thanksgiving each year... "Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done." Oh how my heart longs to spend my days in awe of my Creator, counting the blessings that He has given me. So many more than I could ever count. 

Tonight, I challenge you to join me in this. I challenge you to spend these coming weeks and months counting your blessings with me. Some days, it will be easier than others. Some days it will be a conscious strain. Let us live these days in love, in thankfulness, in faith that our Provider is GOOD, all the time. Join me in sharing these simple blessings as you walk through these days!

I plan to use this blog to do just what the title says: Count my blessings! I plan to share the small things and the big, in hopes that it will spark thankfulness in my heart (and maybe the hearts of others).

With all of that said, here is my blessing of the day: Getting to be home on the day that my sweet girl walked across a room FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!!

If you made it through all these thoughts of mine, share your blessing of the day below and on my Facebook post!

My two blessings in a basket :)